Art serving as therapy: my journey with Rent

The Nederlander Theatre, home of Rent for 12 years - May 2008

It is simply amazing how simple text, music, or performance can become sort of a medicine for ourselves. I was 12 when I discovered my medicine in the film version of Jonathan Larson's Rent. For those who don't know the show, Rent is a Pulitzer-Prize winning and Tony-Award winning musical that follows the lives of a group of friends in New York's seedy East Village during the AIDS epidemic outbreak. It is a beautiful life-affirming piece of art, which is based on the opera La Boheme. In Rent, La Boheme's painter Marcello becomes Jewish introvert filmmaker Mark Cohen, his roommate becomes Roger Davis, a musician struggling with AIDS and bouts of depression.  Mimi, a seamstress in the original piece, becomes a junkie stripper with AIDS.

The show is a beautiful life-affirming piece. It came into my life when my friend Laura burned me a bunch of musical theatre cds (Side Show, The Sweet Smell of Success and a little show called Rent). I have Laura to blame for first exposing me to the show. I wore the cd out and was immensely excited for the film version later that year, which reunited most of the original cast from 1996 who reprised the roles that shot them into the theatre's biggest phenomenon since Hair.

When I discovered Rent, I had just fallen into a depression. I had been diagnosed with chronic daily headaches, which is pretty much just what it sounds like. I had headaches, purely awful ones, pervade my life on a daily basis. It sucked. I also was consistently bullied at school for who I was, even if I didn't know that detail about myself just yet. I mean I knew I was gay, but still I was pretty asexual at that age. I became obsessed with the film, and in turn, the show. I found just pure beauty in it.

The second time I saw the show - December 2007

I finally saw the stage production when the national tour came to the Peoria Civic Center on Halloween 2006. My mom and I went, dressed as two of the show's characters since it was Halloween after all. I was shaking when we entered the theatre. As lame as it sounds Rent became a religious experience for me. I don't remember seeing much of the second act because I cried through most of it and couldn't see it through my tears. Seeing the stage version only fueled the fire to the show I loved so much.

I ended up seeing the production professionally four times. The next time would be December 2007 with my cousin, grandma, and mom in Iowa. I was also lucky enough to see Rent in it's Broadway home in 2008 with the final Broadway cast. I called my mom when I heard the news Rent was closing on Broadway - somewhat upset that this piece I loved so much would no longer be in NYC. Later that night my mom asked me, "What are you doing May 30th?" and then asked me if I wanted to go to NYC to see Rent in it's final weekend on Broadway. I instantly burst into tears. I never expected that.

The opportunity to see this show that meant so much to me in the storied Nederlander Theatre was incredible. They had apparently already planned an NYC trip for mid-summer and were going to surprise my sister and I at our eighth grade graduation, but they pushed up the trip so I could see the show. Rent ended up extending to September, and since we got tickets to it's final weekend, we had the offer to switch our tickets to it's new final weekend, but we couldn't due to me being in a show in September. One of the most amazing things my parents have ever done for me. I'll never forget seeing the show in the Nederlander with Bill in the second row. Plus getting to share that show with Bill was amazing as I had seen it with mom previously.

Rent: The Farewell Tour - Chicago's Oriental Theatre, April 2009

The last time I professionally saw the show was when original stars Anthony Rapp, Adam Pascal and Gwen Stewart, assembled with an all-star cast who had done the show over it's 12 year Broadway run, reunited for a farewell tour to the piece. Getting to see originators of the piece perform it was just insane. I'll never forget leaving the auditorium at Chicago's Oriental Theatre. I simply said "thank you" as I took one last look at the set, knowing that performance would be the last time I'd ever see the Broadway version of that show.

When my local community theatre did the show, I was the show's official groupie and saw every performance. I'd even come after rehearsal for my own show and just watch the second act. I really cannot put into words how much this show means to me. It changed my life. It helped me embrace myself. I will have my Rent tattoo someday. I cannot wait to hopefully someday direct this beautiful piece and put my mark on the show.

"Give into love or live in fear,
no other road, no other way,
no day but today"